My issues

I'm not one that has had a major problem in their lives which has made the weight stack on. I was always a fairly active kid. My parents had enrolled my sister and I in many sports in my childhood and I kept playing tennis into my mid-teens. I became aware of my body when my mum started commenting that 'maybe my shorts were too short' or 'that doesnt suit your big thighs, Marnie'. The comments didnt really have a huge effect on me, but they must've been ingrained into me, as I can remember them as an adult!

One comment in particular is still there - still hanging around. I was in first year uni, drinking way to much and eating far too little. I was 55kg on a 172cm frame. On the lowest point of the standard. I was rocking this awesome corduroy black skirt and visiting my family on uni break. I came out dressed in the skirt and my mum told me to turn around and get changed. I was heartbroken. It was the skinniest I'd ever been and I was still not looking right.

I spiralled into eating even less and developed some unhealthy eating habits. I weighed 52kg, then moved out of my student housing on campus and in with my cousin. I started hiding food and eating it in my room to put on a healthy show for my cousin. Eating healthily in public and in small amounts and then binging in private. By the time I moved out of my cousin's place a year later I was 10kg heavier.

I still have (had) a hiding food problem even now. I eat like crap in public though.

But it all comes down to the fact: I'm lazy. Soooo lazy. It's ingrained in my whole being. So it's a hard slog to drag myself out and about to get fit. It's hard to make a nice, healthy meal for myself because it's easier to have something quick. Or to make something for the whole family (and not an extra meal for just me).

I need to get my mind in the game. I don't want to look this way. Even now as I'm losing the kilos and the centimetres, I'm starting to see small changes in my body. I love that my collarbones are appearing! I think I have a really nice décolletage and I can't wait for it to appear properly again!

Some small body goals:
1. Visible collarbones!
2. Calves that fit into winter boots.
3. Being a 14-16 bra size again. Oh how I hate buying 18-20 :( Nothing pretty :(

They are small goals that I can't wait to see. I wonder how long it will take me??!!